


What once was lost, has now been found.

by justinhammer



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel (Movies), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-10
Updated: 2012-04-10
Packaged: 2017-11-03 10:21:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/380331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justinhammer/pseuds/justinhammer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony goes to tell his father that his greatest project finally yielded a result.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What once was lost, has now been found.

It had started when Captain America was found in the ice, and Tony learned of a project his father had kept going for years, even after his death. He remembered when he died, and government agents had come to take things away from his study. Things that, according to them, Tony wasn't authorised to see. He had argued, of course he had, he felt as though he should be entitled to anything that had belonged to his father. But since were, apparently, government related, Tony wasn't allowed to see them without the express written consent of his father. His express written consent had never shown up, and so as the years passed by Tony forgot about the boxes that had been taken away - out of sight, out of mind.

But then he had received a phone call one morning, telling him that his father's research had yielded a breakthrough, and that he was to come in to be briefed about it. That was how he learned about his father's ongoing search for Captain America. For _Steve Rogers_. It had been a continued effort since he had crashed his plane, and one that Howard had instructed the government to keep searching for, through Stark Industries funding, until the plane was found. With the constant and quick development of technology, Howard had been sure that at some point in the future, the wreckage would be found. He had wanted it to be continued, even after his death. He had wanted Steve to be laid to rest as he deserved. In his home country, to which he fought bravely, and valiantly, and was a true, American hero. He shouldn't be left out in the ice. He deserved better. But Steve was alive, and Tony didn't know how to react to that. 

He had never known about his father's relationship to Steve Rogers, nor the Captain America project. All the files on it had been taken away after he died, and the only memory of anything Captain America related to his father was when he had been five, and playing hide and seek with his nanny. He had been hiding in his parents closet, and found a box. Naturally he was curious and opened it, and found it filled with Captain America comic books. Thinking they were going to be a Christmas for him, he paged through a few of them. Of course his father found out about it, and had grounded him for a week, telling him that he was never to enter their bedroom again. Tony had still thought it was just because he had read his Christmas present to be, so he was therefore disappointed when Christmas morning came, and there was nothing Captain America related for him under the tree. But that too was forgotten as years passed by. 

It was such a change seeing his father through the eyes of Steve. He spoke so fondly of him. Of the good times they had had together, how funny he was, and how much he had been in awe of his brilliance. It was plain to see that Steve had admired him not only for his mind, but for his entire being, and it was also plain to see that they had without a doubt been close friends. And yet Howard had never mentioned him, and nor had his mother, even though he was bound to have known. What surprised him most was how he never mentioned Howard's drinking. Not any excessive drinking, at least. He said they had gone out drinking occasionally, and that was how he learned he couldn't get drunk. He had had to carry Howard home one night the other had had a glass or three too many, but he never mentioned any alcoholic tendencies, and that was how he had always known his father. 

Tony wasn't sure what had brought him to the graveyard where his parents were buried. He hadn't been there in years. In fact, he hadn't been there since the funeral had been held. He had seen no reason to revisit. He had said good bye to his parents, to his mother who had been wonderful, and to a father who had not. He had never felt the need to go back. It was a chapter in his life that was over, with no need to be revised. And yet he found himself standing at the grave of his parents, which after so many years was in a state of neglect, and it gave him a pinch of guilt for never checking up on it. 

"If only it was raining, then this would be the biggest cliche in the world," he muttered quietly to himself as he stared down at it, and then shook his head, leaning down to brush off the old leaves from the top of the tombstone. There wasn't much else he could do right now other than that, but at least it was something. He would have to see to it that it was cleaned up before Steve visited; he had mentioned wanting the chance to pay his respects to his friend, and Tony didn't want him to see it in the state that he was now. 

There was no one else in the graveyard, so he felt comfortable sitting down on the grass in front of it. As he stared at his father's name he took a flask from his pocket, and drank deeply before sighing heavily. He didn't even know where to start. He had never been one to believe in the afterlife, let alone that he could communicate with it in any way, but at the same time, this felt important somehow. It was something that _he_ needed to talk about, if nothing else. Something that he needed to get off his chest, even though he knew he would get no explanation. He just _needed_ to get it off his chest. There was already so much weighing down on him, that even the smallest thing off would provide relief. And that was in the end what he hoped to gain.

"It was losing him that drove you to drink, wasn't it?" He asked quietly, and he adverted his eyes to the ground, instead of staring at the name. It was almost as though his father could see him through it, and he had never been good at looking his father in the eye when talking, let alone talking about feelings. He had never wanted to see the disappointment that he was so sure was there. "And not being able to find him." 

Tony could hardly begin to imagine what it must have been like to be in his Father's shoes. He remembered Rhodey telling him about how it was having him lost. Not knowing if he was dead, or if he was in the hands of the enemy. Not being able to locate him. Not being able to get closure, was how Rhodey had described it to him, and Howard never got any closure on Steve. He never found out what had happened to him, and he had never given up on him, the same way Rhodey said that he wouldn't have ever given up on Tony. And that opened his eyes to a whole new side of his father that he had never gotten a chance to see. 

"We found him, Dad," he said with a dry laugh, and took another sip from the flask. "And...and he's alive. They don't know how, or why, but he's alive, and well, albeit confused about the world today, but he's completely healthy." 

Tony wondered how different things would have been if Steve had never died. Would his father have been happy? Would he still have become an alcoholic? Would he have grown up with a father who paid attention to him? One who didn't just leave cryptic messages for him. Would he have grown up with "Uncle Steve" who would have races with him and pretend to lose, boasting that he was faster than even Captain America? And most importantly, would his father still be alive now? He had been drunk the night of the car crash, after all. Would that still have been the case, if Steve had never disappeared?

"He talks about you a lot. About your designs back then, and everything you did for him. How you were friends. He talks about how I remind him of you, too." He glanced back up at the name carved into the stone, but it still made him feel uncomfortable, so he looked away again, down at the grass he started to tug at. He fiddled when he was uncomfortable, he always had. "But I don't see it I never got to see the version of you that he remembers, and I don't like the thought of becoming the you I knew." 

"I wish you were here." He stopped pulling at the grass for that, and instead stared straight at the bottom of the headstone, where the inscription reading _father, friend, genius_ was written. All the things Howard Stark had been, and all the things Tony Stark had never been privileged to see him as. "Not even for me, but for him. I think it would help him to have a connection to his past. No one can give him that. But I'm trying. I've let him see all your notes, and that seems to make him a little happy, at least." 

They were going to try to rebuild his bike together as he and Howard had done back in the day. However Steve had told him that Howard had done the majority of the work while he had stood watching, trying to understand the genius at work. Tony had laughed at that, because he knew all too well how it was to try to work with someone who wasn't at the same level. There were multiple times he had been trying to work with someone, but they had marched out of his work shop, telling him in an exasperated tone that he might as well do it all himself for all they were allowed to do. But this time he swore to himself that he would include Steve as much as he could. He would try to, at least, mostly because he wanted it to be the bike that he remembered.

He swallowed, thicker than he expected as he stood up, and poured the rest of the contents from the flash onto the grave, in front of his father's name. He bent down again to tuck the flask next to the headstone so it was somewhat concealed, but obvious if someone stumbled across it that it hadn't just been forgotten there. A gift he knew his father could appreciate, wherever he was. Afterlife or not. 

"I'll take care of him, Dad," he promised, and turned away as he murmured quietly. "I'll make you proud."

**Author's Note:**

> Just a bit of head canon going on here. I've always thought that the reason that Cap was found in the ice was due to Stark technology, but that Tony never knew about it until he was found. We see plainly how much it's effected Howard, and how he continues to look even though the trail ends when they find the cube, so I think he would have continued looking his whole life. And wouldn't let them stop after death, either.


End file.
